The Owners Manual

The Banking Queen

2011-12-27T17:18:00.000-05:00

.
.
C-SPAN's on and the lights are low,
gettin' in some fellatio,
then he's bitin' that pillow case,
making his squinty little face
then squealing like a sow.
Ugh, let's go to the chorus now.

It's Barney the banking queen,
cross and mean,
he squints and preens
with a sweaty sheen, oh yeah.

Police Clear Zuccotti Park of Protesters

2011-11-15T14:19:00.000-05:00

Zuccotti Park is melting in the dark;
the panicked acid stashes gobbled down.
Someone's brain is baking in the rain!
I don't think this crowd can dig it
that the cops ain't writing tickets
and we're going stoned to Riker's once again ...
oh, no. Oh, no!!!

Troll puppy

2011-09-09T21:25:00.002-04:00

Que Sarah

2011-08-14T14:55:00.000-04:00

Twisted

2011-08-14T14:25:00.001-04:00

Toot

2011-08-13T00:55:00.003-04:00

Pole 'er bare

2011-08-13T00:43:00.002-04:00

Watch your head!

2011-08-12T21:26:00.002-04:00

AC/DC no doubt

2011-08-12T21:00:00.001-04:00

Works for me

2011-08-12T20:49:00.001-04:00

Fizzicks

2011-08-12T18:18:00.001-04:00

When your reach exceeds your grasp

2011-08-12T17:45:00.001-04:00

He's a mudder

2011-08-12T17:33:00.002-04:00

Chip shot

2011-08-12T00:25:00.001-04:00

You can't please 'em

2011-08-12T00:19:00.001-04:00

It's a circle, jerk.

2011-08-12T00:07:00.002-04:00

Shrinkage

2011-08-11T22:18:00.001-04:00

The sex was in tents

2011-08-11T21:51:00.002-04:00

Air head, too

2011-08-11T21:36:00.001-04:00

True love's ways

2011-08-10T23:05:00.001-04:00

Barfy agrees

2011-08-10T22:30:00.001-04:00

Breakout

2011-08-10T21:42:00.002-04:00

Must be this tall

2011-08-10T00:19:00.001-04:00

He needed it, anyway

2011-08-09T23:47:00.001-04:00

Oh, balls

2011-08-09T23:33:00.002-04:00

Last wishes

2011-08-09T23:19:00.002-04:00

They grow up so fast

2011-08-09T18:42:00.001-04:00

Grim reaping

2011-08-09T15:46:00.000-04:00

Misdirection

2011-08-09T01:23:00.001-04:00

Overexposed

2011-08-08T22:49:00.001-04:00

Eulogy

2011-08-08T17:17:00.001-04:00

Too true

2011-08-08T17:01:00.001-04:00

That's how it crumbles

2011-08-08T16:52:00.001-04:00

A little garden fertilizer

2011-08-08T14:52:00.004-04:00

Ouch

2011-08-08T00:45:00.001-04:00

Why not?

2011-08-07T22:05:00.004-04:00

TMI, Dolly

2011-08-07T21:49:00.002-04:00

Showtime

2011-08-07T20:04:00.002-04:00

Generation Z

2011-08-07T13:23:00.001-04:00

Downer

2011-08-07T13:05:00.002-04:00

Bank shot

2011-08-07T00:39:00.000-04:00

Victoria's other secret

2011-08-06T23:11:00.001-04:00

Gotta run, hon.

2011-08-06T22:59:00.002-04:00

Spam I am

2011-08-06T22:39:00.001-04:00

Recycling

2011-08-06T22:09:00.002-04:00

Jeffy does the New Yorker

2011-08-06T20:43:00.000-04:00

The weaker sex

2011-08-06T17:15:00.001-04:00

Pumped up

2011-08-06T15:54:00.001-04:00

It's a gas

2011-08-06T00:49:00.001-04:00

They're all bitches

2011-08-06T00:26:00.001-04:00

Beach bonanza

2011-08-06T00:10:00.002-04:00

Free Willy

2011-08-05T23:56:00.002-04:00

Jeffy gives back

2011-08-05T21:45:00.001-04:00

Just kidding, God.

2011-08-05T21:36:00.001-04:00

Dolly does b-ball

2011-08-05T20:16:00.001-04:00

Connisewer

2011-08-05T00:17:00.002-04:00

HellooO, Dolly.

2011-08-05T00:07:00.002-04:00

Pole 'er Bare?

2011-08-04T22:46:00.002-04:00

Do you feel old yet?

2011-08-04T21:37:00.002-04:00

Billy does Bill

2011-08-04T19:34:00.002-04:00

Grandparental buyer's remorse

2011-08-04T19:04:00.002-04:00

He did an awesome Macarena

2011-08-04T18:57:00.002-04:00

No Vacancy

2011-08-04T18:46:00.002-04:00

Pass the mind bleach!

2011-08-04T18:23:00.001-04:00

It's made in China?

2011-08-03T23:59:00.003-04:00

Argh

2011-08-03T21:54:00.003-04:00

Plus we play pocket pool!

2011-08-03T21:11:00.002-04:00

I'm alright. Really.

2011-08-03T20:52:00.004-04:00

Luckily, Santa only came down the chimney

2011-08-03T19:37:00.002-04:00

Tough crowd

2011-08-03T19:14:00.001-04:00

Disenchantment does Dolly

2011-08-03T18:57:00.002-04:00

Rebellion

2011-08-03T17:00:00.002-04:00

Up Tight

2011-08-03T16:46:00.002-04:00

The hypnotist

2011-08-03T16:10:00.001-04:00

Grecian Yearn

2011-08-03T15:57:00.000-04:00

Post-birth control

2011-08-03T13:31:00.000-04:00

She doesn't think it's hers.

2011-08-03T00:45:00.003-04:00

Bummer

2011-08-03T00:30:00.004-04:00

Dolly gets rear ended

2011-08-02T23:49:00.000-04:00

Are we worth the weight yet, Daddy?

2011-08-02T22:31:00.002-04:00

Would you believe I'm a nighttime Avon lady?

2011-08-02T19:26:00.002-04:00

Fiscal Face Off

2011-08-02T19:00:00.002-04:00

Basket case

2011-08-02T00:10:00.000-04:00

Take that and shove it.

2011-08-01T23:52:00.002-04:00

Little shavers

2011-08-01T21:45:00.002-04:00

Tough love

2011-07-31T18:36:00.001-04:00

Where's my WD-XL ?

2011-07-31T18:16:00.002-04:00

A brush is a brush

2011-07-31T17:35:00.002-04:00

Because you have more money than you need.

2011-07-31T00:58:00.000-04:00

Street sign

2011-07-31T00:46:00.002-04:00

Dick Clark was there, too.

2011-07-31T00:22:00.002-04:00

Talking out of school

2011-07-30T22:48:00.002-04:00

Everybody's a critic

2011-07-30T17:22:00.002-04:00

Vacation burnout

2011-07-30T01:05:00.002-04:00

Hi !

2011-07-30T00:38:00.000-04:00

Boston TEA Party. TEA!

2011-07-30T00:22:00.002-04:00

It's not hard at first

2011-07-29T23:54:00.002-04:00

Cowboy-speak

2011-07-29T22:58:00.001-04:00

Trolling through the park

2011-07-29T18:29:00.000-04:00

The rabbit is alive and well

2011-07-29T00:52:00.002-04:00