Ignore Weiner, dig into Palin eMail? MSM melts down.

.
When you git 'er all atwitter with a pic of midget digit,
then your smutty Tweetin's beatin' all the odds.
But if you're Sarah Palin, the press is always whalin'
for some gritty bits o' diamonds 'mongst the clods.

Ancient Pastimes

On monster rocks I scratched a glyph,
"For good times -- Omar Sharif."
Down the dirt path from the Wal*Martep,
I drained my Wankare on the Giza steps,
When my thigh was stabbed in the flesh at a Khufu fight.
I cursed the night
And shouted out "Osiris!"

Can has Rapshure?

"Saturday, after dark,
I think it was the last part of May.
People lifting, grifters grifting,
a real celebration,
giving stuff away.
And I've been waiting such a long time,
to get your PS3."

Least plausible excuse of the day

“It was a very slipper road”,commented the commander.
http://englishrussia.com/2011/05/13/not-a-tanky-day/

...while expecting a different outcome.

Spanning the arch above the entryway to Irrational Exuberance should be the granite banner reading, "This Time It's Different."

At the movie store

"I'd like to rent a subdued black movie, please."
"How about Shaft?"
"Shaft is subdued?"
"Well, it has a second banana, you know, a sub-dude."
"I keel you."

Move over, Amigo.

Alphonso's bull-repelling whistle
proved to be as ineffective as his
idea of getting front row seats
was a bad one.