Stay tuned for some rap

And you know who you are

A diplomat's dream

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"Pack your bags, Jeeves. You being sent to North Korea. Dress warmly."
"Any other advice?"
"Yes, eat your shoes before entering the country. You may not get a second chance."

Four more ... ?

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It's way past time to drop the dime
and send him on his way.
B-a-b o-o-n, O-b-a-m-a.
Baboon Barack, vapor talk,
the empty-suit ... oy vey.
B-a-b o-o-n, O-b-a-m-a.

Weather or not

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Anchor: And now with the weather here's Channel 4.5's award winning weather man, Garth Wunsch.

Weatherman: Thank you, Claudia. Looking at the global map, we see a load of red magma following the seasonal Pineapple Express route of storm activity. You folks on the western tip of the Aleutians can expect basket-ball sized brimstone and scattered darkness at noon by Wednesday.

Going into next weekend, the Canadian coast and pacific northwest are advised to take down patio umbrellas and park their cars in shelter as an orange high pressure front of sulfur dioxide and Aleutian hemoglobin is forecast to strip paint that isn't nailed down and make outdoor breathing optional. Better yet, go visit grandma in Maine.

Right after the break, I'll have the long range forecast for British Columbia and Northern California. If you like daisies, egg yolks, and Big Bird, then there's a whole lot of what those have in common comin' your way.

Antarctic ice grows as climate warms

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Global Warming Climate Change
Coming to a think tank near you!

You can't beat it, you can't bust it!
Be like us and blindly trust it!
The Theory That Cannot Be Falsified
No matter what happens, it was predicted.
There is no escape! You can't hide!

Robin awakens