Of Cowboy Poets and Faith Healing

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Me and Zeb rode God's land
down canyon, mesa, brush,
to mend the lame with healing hand,
to sing of cowboy lust.

Now, one dark night Zeb couldn't see,
stepped off a railroad bridge
but grasped the edge and dangled free,
one tough son of a bitch.

Zeb hung there by his fingertips
'til dirt he saw at morning light
was but an inch below his feet,
which pissed him off so much he hung there for rest of the day, just out of spite.

Is reality racist?

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DAYTON -- The Dayton Police Department is lowering its testing standards for recruits. It's a move required by the U.S. Department of Justice after it says not enough African-Americans passed the exam.
We keep the Special Olympics separate from the Olympics. Here, it's a sort of hostile takeover.

It's only the climate, ducky.

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People are being asked to look out for aeroplane trails, or contrails, which may be contributing to climate change and which can only be recorded by the human eye.

Researchers are also urging schoolchildren to blow bubbles to measure wind speed. --- London Telegraph

"Well, I'm off, dear."
"Where to, love?"
"Doing some climate work."
"Such as?"
"Blowing vapor trails and looking at bubbles."
"Smoking at the pub with a Guinness again, are we?"
"Oh, damn. Sorry. Got that backwards."
"Likely story. Then where's your camera?"
"Camera?"
"For recording the vapor trails."
"Won't work. The Met says vapor trails can only be recorded by the human eye."
"Do I look stupid?"
"No, love, just British."

How you do, die, do, die do.

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http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Ad ... ne.0015812

This study examines whether cause of death influences racial classification on death certificates.

1. Death from cocaine overdose = caucasian
2. Death from being mugged in E St Louis = ofay
3. Death from being hit upside the head in Newark = honkey
4. Death from being caught with pimp's best ho = DEAD honkey

1. Death from natural causes = Negro
2. Death from drug overdose = black
3. Death from drowning = stole more chain than he could swim with
4. Death from coming through windshield = breaking and entering.
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Sarah Palin and daughter Bristol seek to trademark names

. Political trademark infringements we'd like to see:

Pelosi Miracle Skin Flattener and Eyeball Popper
Biden Biography Generator
Obama Ear Extensions
Harry Reid's Hairy Reeds
Sarah Palin's Leftist Assploder

To the tough guy in his mom's basement

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Bloodthirsty keyboard commandos are we,
riding our La-Z-Boys, safe as can be.

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But I've Felt the Heat

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I have a fascination with the flapper's doodle-do,
the Roaring Twenties captured; Rudy Vallee's talley-hoo.
Through used book stores in many states I've plowed the dusty tomes,
snared two hundred plus old prints, lugged rare collections home.

But that was merely starting off: I devoured each one of them
and visualized the mise en scène of Babbitt's life back when.
Ah, Sinclair Lewis, he's the man who brought Main Street to life.
Elmer Gantry, Arrowsmith and Dodsworth --- sharp as knives.

Of course Fitzgerald's Gatsby after Bernice Bobs Her Hair,
was written less as fiction -- tantamount to being there.
Days of Dorothy Parker, Alqonquin's ditsy queen,
Round Table regnant reigning over literary scene.

Warren Harding's rise and tragic fall before the swamp
of Tea Pot Dome and calumny engulfed his aides-de-camp.
I've read the history so many times, I was there if truth be told.
Those images became memories: I'm a virtual hundred years old.