Ancient Pastimes

On monster rocks I scratched a glyph,
"For good times -- Omar Sharif."
Down the dirt path from the Wal*Martep,
I drained my Wankare on the Giza steps,
When my thigh was stabbed in the flesh at a Khufu fight.
I cursed the night
And shouted out "Osiris!"

Can has Rapshure?

"Saturday, after dark,
I think it was the last part of May.
People lifting, grifters grifting,
a real celebration,
giving stuff away.
And I've been waiting such a long time,
to get your PS3."

Least plausible excuse of the day

“It was a very slipper road”,commented the commander.
http://englishrussia.com/2011/05/13/not-a-tanky-day/

...while expecting a different outcome.

Spanning the arch above the entryway to Irrational Exuberance should be the granite banner reading, "This Time It's Different."

At the movie store

"I'd like to rent a subdued black movie, please."
"How about Shaft?"
"Shaft is subdued?"
"Well, it has a second banana, you know, a sub-dude."
"I keel you."

Move over, Amigo.

Alphonso's bull-repelling whistle
proved to be as ineffective as his
idea of getting front row seats
was a bad one.

Of Cowboy Poets and Faith Healing

.

Me and Zeb rode God's land
down canyon, mesa, brush,
to mend the lame with healing hand,
to sing of cowboy lust.

Now, one dark night Zeb couldn't see,
stepped off a railroad bridge
but grasped the edge and dangled free,
one tough son of a bitch.

Zeb hung there by his fingertips
'til dirt he saw at morning light
was but an inch below his feet,
which pissed him off so much he hung there for rest of the day, just out of spite.