Tweet Me!

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TWEET ME: I held bus door open for you, got a "fuck you" look. Go up to Canal St, 2 blocks to Riverfront. Turn left to the river. Jump in.

TWEET ME: You were moving down the escalator at the Midtown Macy's. I was throwing up. Great catch. The Giants need you.

TWEET ME: You had me thrown off the Raleigh Amtrak for flashing you. Met your mom at hobo camp down the line. We're siblings.

TWEET ME: Saw you in the 10/17 Jay Leno audience. Ugliest woman I ever seen. We may be related.

TWEET ME: You wrote my name and number on Port Authority stall walls. You deserve a cut of the profits.

TWEET ME: 38th St subway platform, I flashed you. Will pay to get my cock ring back.

TWEET ME: Cowboys game in the stands, I intercepted your hot dog and instead passed down a joint. Let me help with your bail.

TWEET ME: I whistled at you from my cement truck, you birded me and fell over a fire hydrant. I found your dentures.

Just Another Day at the Airport

"This is a waste of time and you TSA bastards are a bunch of goons!"
"Wha--- whoa! Get up against the wall, ma'am. Finley, get over here!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Handcuff her."
"Want the ball gag, too, sir?"
"Yes. Ball- gag 'er.
"How about the butt plug, sir?"
"Hold on. Ma'am, are you going to give me any more shit?"
"Mmmph!"
"Give 'er the butt plug, Finley."

Things to Know

Consequences of Obamacare

Knock Knock
"Whaddya want?"
"Joe sent me."
"Are you a surgeon?"
"Yes, I do."
"I mean, do you do surgery?"
"Yes, I am."
"Do you get referrals from other doctors?"
"Yes."
"What kind?"
"Terminal cases, and slow pay."
"Come on in."

They're both bloodthirsty?

The main difference between Yahweh and Allah seems to be their willingness to delegate.  Allah commands his followers to do the atrocities that Yahweh reserved to himself.

Just some dialogue

"Smile, John, you look like you just swallowed a 2x4."
"Leave me alone, Teresa, and stop stalking me on the job."
"I see you brought your little military bitch along. What are all her ribbons for, John, late night at the Oral Office?"
"Go home, Teresa. This got to stop."
"This isn't the only thing we're gonna stop, John."
"My god. If I wasn't stone-faced from all the botox, I'd give you such a scowl!"
"Too bad it didn't turn something else to stone, John."
"I hate this job."

Courtroom attire

"Are you wearing a thong?"
"A traditional one among my people, yes."
"What does that mean?"
"It's a hula hoop festooned with a hemp rope sling."
"What does 'festooned' mean?"
"I don't know."