Ancient Pastimes

On monster rocks I scratched a glyph,
"For good times -- Omar Sharif."
Down the dirt path from the Wal*Martep,
I drained my Wankare on the Giza steps,
When my thigh was stabbed in the flesh at a Khufu fight.
I cursed the night
And shouted out "Osiris!"

Can has Rapshure?

"Saturday, after dark,
I think it was the last part of May.
People lifting, grifters grifting,
a real celebration,
giving stuff away.
And I've been waiting such a long time,
to get your PS3."

Least plausible excuse of the day

“It was a very slipper road”,commented the commander.
http://englishrussia.com/2011/05/13/not-a-tanky-day/

...while expecting a different outcome.

Spanning the arch above the entryway to Irrational Exuberance should be the granite banner reading, "This Time It's Different."

At the movie store

"I'd like to rent a subdued black movie, please."
"How about Shaft?"
"Shaft is subdued?"
"Well, it has a second banana, you know, a sub-dude."
"I keel you."