Tuesday, July 19, 2011

All Non-Africans Part Neanderthal, Genetics Confirm

Whenever I'm with a Neanderthal chick,
my Cro-magnon gonads start stalling.
It's not so much that her brow is too thick,
but that New Jersey accent's appalling.

He was shovel ready

Monday, July 18, 2011

Batteries not included

Parenting skills

Michigan cuts off unlimited welfare

"I'm headin' out to Illinois, ma."
"Why you be doin' that, boy?"
"Well, ma, they's cuttin' off permanent welfare here like wringin' a chicken's neck. I can only support us so much by food stamp resales, check forgery, drug dealin', benefit fraud, muggin', burglary, armed robbery, counterfeitin' and fencin' stolen merchandise."
"Well, I swan. What you gonna do, boy?"
"I don't know, ma. It's not like I have any skills."
"Well, I swan."

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

An owly bird gets the pane

...and he crashed with a hoot
and an -oh, shit- splat
of flurried powder down.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Chocolate C'thulhu

His entourage was all the rage
with weekly bouts of deophage.
Yet, each one having had his fill,
god extant was unchanged still.