Grandma, Don't Toss That Newspaper

An elderly Manhattan woman living on Social Security was slapped with a $100 ticket -- for throwing away a newspaper in a city trash can.

To the tune of Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys

Grandma don't toss your newspaper into that trashcan.
The city attorney will bust your old chops
And send you a summons to deal with the cops.

Grandma don't toss your newspaper into that trashcan.
The tourists will see ya and get the idea
Old women don't cherish their TImes.

Garbage ain't easy to love and it leaks on the floor.
But you know you're a packrat, so horde that rank treasure galore,
moldy damp coffee grounds, transcripts of speeches by Gore.

And each day begins a new pile,
And if you wear nose plugs and don't die too soon of the shame,
the roaches will have a field day.

Grandma don't toss your newspaper into that trashcan.
The city attorney will bust your old chops
And send you a summons to deal with the cops.