Fort Enduring Courage Elementary School
Dear Parent(s) of a FECES child,
You are doubtless aware of the school shooting simulation run in the Halfway, OR, school wherein the students were at home.
we don't do things halfway here at Fort Enduring Courage Elementary
School. By the time you are reading this notification, FECES security
facilitator Aafia Siddiqui will have completed operation KAOS (Keeping
Anarchy Out of School).
At the time of this writing, the
operation is deemed over. We regret the loss of the cheerleader squad,
whose pom-poms were mistaken for gunsmoke and are looking into FECES
rainy day funds to see if compensation is available for parents of class
4B, whose members perished from glass shards and cuts when exiting
their Peace Through Eating Glue class through the second floor glass
Be sure there were lessons learned in KAOS and that we're doing all we can to keep violence out of our school.