Note from school

Wendell Weedy
Principal
Fort Enduring Courage Elementary School

Dear Parent(s) of a FECES child,

You are doubtless aware of the school shooting simulation run in the Halfway, OR, school wherein the students were at home.

Well, we don't do things halfway here at Fort Enduring Courage Elementary School. By the time you are reading this notification, FECES security facilitator Aafia Siddiqui will have completed operation KAOS (Keeping Anarchy Out of School).

At the time of this writing, the operation is deemed over. We regret the loss of the cheerleader squad, whose pom-poms were mistaken for gunsmoke and are looking into FECES rainy day funds to see if compensation is available for parents of class 4B, whose members perished from glass shards and cuts when exiting their Peace Through Eating Glue class through the second floor glass windows.

Be sure there were lessons learned in KAOS and that we're doing all we can to keep violence out of our school.

Sincerely,


Wendel