New York, New York

New York City police have begun handing out small cards telling people why they were stopped and searched on city streets.

"Why did you stop me, officer?"
"It's part of our positive reinforcement program."
"What do you mean?"
"I found you doing something good.  You stopped when the 'don't walk' signal came on."
"So, what was frisking me all about, then?"
"Checking you for lumps.  Cancer, you know."
"And these handcuffs?"
"It's just a precaution."
"So what's the positive reinforcement?"
"I'm positive I"ll have some reinforcement in a minute.  Then we're going to kick your ass.  This is New York, you know."
"It's a hell of a town."
"It sure is.  Now get up against the car."