Monday, May 4, 2009

Things you might see at Felony Frank's


"Felony Franks is Jim Andrews' new hot dog stand, currently under construction on a busy West Side corner, decorated with freshly painted wieners donning prison garb and a ball and chain, proclaiming "food so good it's criminal."

"Our cooks went to Screw U."
"Do you want to fry with that?"
Try our Diet Dog. It's lite without possibility of a roll.
Your hotdog is free if the cashier doesn't shank you.
Please count your change carefully. We need time to molest your woman.
Employees must wipe their shivs before returning to the service line.
Don't like mustard?  No problem.
Don't like relish?  No problem.
Don't like serial rapists?  We got a problem.

Do not accept hot dogs from server's lap.

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