Another day at the TSA

.
"Sir, we've got an emergency here."
"Yes, LeRoy, what is it? Another toddler failing the sobriety test?"
"No, sir. It's worse. McKilligan got caught whacking off at the scanner."
"Was he on break? You know the union rule."
"No, sir. It was on company time."
"Well, just damn. It hate to do this, but you you know how it works,
LeRoy. When we do anything wrong, we gotta punish ..."
"Yes, sir. I'll get on the loudspeaker now. Shut down all flights. No one's going anywhere until we rescan everybody in the airport. Looks like another win for the terrorists."
"Yup, LeRoy. War is hell. Say, do you like pirate movies?"