It's TSA Day

.
Ta rah rah boom tee ay
I fooled the TSA,
my colon's C-4 clay,
that's why I walk this way.

If the TSA aren't going to kiss me while I'm being groped, they can at least talk to me.

"Did you pack this thing yourself or did someone else pack it?"
"Has your unit been out of your sight since you left home this morning?"
"Why aren't you circumsized?"
"Do you like pirate movies?"