"I'm bored, mom. These trees aren't doing anything."
"Well, what do you want to do, honey?"
"Let's play a game."
"What would you like to play?"
"Rock, scissors, paper."
"Oh, my god. Where did you hear that?"
"At school."
"What filth. The horror! The horror!"
"What's wrong, momma!"
"You might as well whack baby Jesus upside the head."
"What's a Jesus, momma?"
"It's like the bestus tree in the woods, the biggest rock."
"I'm still bored."
"Don't say 'bored,' honey. It sounds too much like 'board.'
"Well, how about this clod then?"
"You mean Claude?"
"Yes."
"That's fine. Play with Claude."
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